First Date Dude Grooming for Beardos on the Prowl

dude grooming for first datesWhen you Google “first date” and “beard” together, you’re going to see a ton of articles debating whether or not you should SHAVE IT OFF (?!).

Whoa, there.

Okay, here’s the thing: Most women like beards. Inexplicably, there are some women who do not like beards. This is mystifying to us, and to beard-loving ladies, but the universe is a strange and wonderful place, and people are allowed to have preferences, even if those preferences are wrong, like not liking beards.

Don’t shave your beard for a first date. Would you ever ask a woman with long hair to chop off a year’s worth of growth to impress you the very first time you go out? Of course not! Not only is this a ridiculously presumptive request, it’s unattractively arrogant.

Now that we’ve gotten the “to shave or not to shave” (unless you’re having facial surgery or something, you know the answer) issue out of the way, let’s move on to what you should do grooming wise for a first date. Because you do want to impress her—just not by shaving your beard off.

  1. For the love of all that’s sacred, groom that beard.

No, you shouldn’t cut it off, but it should be immaculate. No scruffy neck hair or weird scattered upper cheek hairs. While women that absolutely dislike beards are rare, women that absolutely dislike ill-kempt beards are… basically all of them. This is not something to gamble on.

And this is one great reason you should know a barber that knows your beard and how you like it. Because getting a shape up from a barber that knows what he’s doing the day of (or the day before) your first date is baller. And of course, shampoo, oil, and style it before you head out.

  1. Cut your nails. No, cut them more. And make sure they’re clean!

If an ill-kempt beard will keep you from getting a second or third date, dirty or ragged nails might make her bail early on this one. Yeah, it’s that big of a deal. And yeah, she will look at your hands. And if you happen to be lucky enough to get lucky…

So—trim them the day before. File them if there are sharp or ragged ends. An emery board (that tongue depressor thing for filing) is like, $0.50 at the drug store. Spend two quarters on this very important grooming tip. You’ll thank us.

  1. Make sure your breath is pristine…

Whether or not you plan to kiss, the last thing you want is to open your mouth and see her lean back about 10 inches. This is another second date assassin. Brush. Your. Teeth. Like how the dentist tells you to, not how you usually do. Get some Binaca. A mini bottle is <$2.00. Yes, your beer will probably taste funny, but beer will be there tomorrow regardless of your breath. She won’t be so understanding.

  1. …and that you smell great all over (all night).

If you’re going to do anything sweaty… anything… go with antiperspirant rather than just deodorant tonight. Why? Because deodorant might be fine normally, but you’ve also got first date nerves (and Murphy’s Law) to contend with. Good cologne—you don’t need a lot. If you’re totally out, stop at the drug store and get the make up girl to let you “test” one. Seriously.

Now, go out there and find yourself a beardo-loving babe!